.

To forgive but not forget

Bentley, Western Australia

“Ok class, I would like all of you to do exercise on page 45 to 50. Please submit at the end of this period”, said Cikgu W. She was walking around the class while we were doing our work. She then stopped at my desk. She was taking my workbook and flipping through. “Who ask you to do all the exercise?” She referred to the scribble answers in pencil. I had answered most of the exercise in the workbook with the help of my tutor. My dad sent me to the tuition class. Once finished with the module, my tutor asked me to go through the school workbook.

I’m so sacred at that time; her pitching was so high and loud. “I’m sorry, I will erase all the answer". I told her in my slow nerved wreaking voice. She returned my workbook with her protest body gesture. That was the first time ever my teacher shouted at me. I’m proud to say that I’m teachers’ pet at school since in primary 1. The main reason is because I’m always ahead of other students (as I’m in Kampung school, not comparable to other good school) and managed to finish any assignment a little bit faster. To keep me busy and occupy, I was appointed as a class leader and I had been holding the portfolio for 6 years (primary 1 till 6). As a class leader, I have to

• go and forth to the staff room,
• take names of students who made any noise when teacher was not around,
• write down questions or exercise on the blackboard whenever my teacher feel so lazy
• assists my friends to finish their work etc.

The bell was ringing, that means the end of the period. Cikgu W was waiting for all of us to submit the workbook. I was puting my book on top of my friends’. When I just about to sit, I saw a “flying saucer” landed onto the dustbin. That so called flying saucer is my workbook and I recognised it well. My workbook is well wrapped in the transparent plastic with the help of my mum magic touch. I was so shocked and speechless for a few second. Cikgu W asked Z instead of me (as a class leader) to help her with the workbooks and leave the class. I was walking slowly to the dustbin and collect my workbook and I was in tears. I was so terrified that I initially thought of not going back to school again after the incident. I hope she would be better by then but she did throw my book again and again and she always ignored my existence in the class. She enforced her psychology war towards me. I didn’t tell my parents about the incident. My dad found out only when he checked my workbook. At first he thought I didn’t submit my homework, but I told them all the story. My dad told me to once against submit my workbook and inform him if she still refused. I did and she stills the same.

My dad took half day off to see the headmaster. I did cried because I’m afraid Cikgu W will scold me for my dad complaints. After my dad lodging the complaint, she kept the war between us. She had been abusing me emotionally and mentally. To be honest I hate to be in her class and English subject as well. I suffered till the rest of the year. Luckily when I was enroll to primary 5, she didn’t teach me anymore. Alhamdulilah.

But till now I still don't understand why she behaved that way! Did I do some big mistake and unforgiven sin????

I met Cikgu W last year and I greeted her. She still remember me well ..err maybe for what she did to me. She was very proud that I made it all the way to university. I've long forgiven her for what she did and I'm also blessed with lots of other teachers who treated me nicely....so it is better for me to "forgive and forget"..err but I still can't forget..ahaks