Friday, May 02, 2008

To forgive but not forget
Bentley, Western Australia

“Ok class, I would like all of you to do exercise on page 45 to 50. Please submit at the end of this period”, said Cikgu W. She was walking around the class while we were doing our work. She then stopped at my desk. She was taking my workbook and flipping through. “Who ask you to do all the exercise?” She referred to the scribble answers in pencil. I had answered most of the exercise in the workbook with the help of my tutor. My dad sent me to the tuition class. Once finished with the module, my tutor asked me to go through the school workbook.

I’m so sacred at that time; her pitching was so high and loud. “I’m sorry, I will erase all the answer". I told her in my slow nerved wreaking voice. She returned my workbook with her protest body gesture. That was the first time ever my teacher shouted at me. I’m proud to say that I’m teachers’ pet at school since in primary 1. The main reason is because I’m always ahead of other students (as I’m in Kampung school, not comparable to other good school) and managed to finish any assignment a little bit faster. To keep me busy and occupy, I was appointed as a class leader and I had been holding the portfolio for 6 years (primary 1 till 6). As a class leader, I have to

  • go and forth to the staff room,
  • take names of students who made any noise when teacher was not around,
  • write down questions or exercise on the blackboard whenever my teacher feel so lazy
  • assists my friends to finish their work etc.

The bell was ringing, that means the end of the period. Cikgu W was waiting for all of us to submit the workbook. I was puting my book on top of my friends’. When I just about to sit, I saw a “flying saucer” landed onto the dustbin. That so called flying saucer is my workbook and I recognised it well. My workbook is well wrapped in the transparent plastic with the help of my mum magic touch. I was so shocked and speechless for a few second. Cikgu W asked Z instead of me (as a class leader) to help her with the workbooks and leave the class. I was walking slowly to the dustbin and collect my workbook and I was in tears. I was so terrified that I initially thought of not going back to school again after the incident. I hope she would be better by then but she did throw my book again and again and she always ignored my existence in the class. She enforced her psychology war towards me. I didn’t tell my parents about the incident. My dad found out only when he checked my workbook. At first he thought I didn’t submit my homework, but I told them all the story. My dad told me to once against submit my workbook and inform him if she still refused. I did and she stills the same.

My dad took half day off to see the headmaster. I did cried because I’m afraid Cikgu W will scold me for my dad complaints. After my dad lodging the complaint, she kept the war between us. She had been abusing me emotionally and mentally. To be honest I hate to be in her class and English subject as well. I suffered till the rest of the year. Luckily when I was enroll to primary 5, she didn’t teach me anymore. Alhamdulilah.

But till now I still don't understand why she behaved that way! Did I do some big mistake and unforgiven sin????

I met Cikgu W last year and I greeted her. She still remember me well ..err maybe for what she did to me. She was very proud that I made it all the way to university. I've long forgiven her for what she did and I'm also blessed with lots of other teachers who treated me nicely....so it is better for me to "forgive and forget"..err but I still can't forget..ahaks

55 comments:

ak_0143 said...

wow... wut a story...
seriuosly bila baca, heran napa dia wat cmtuh...
selalu dgr cikgu marah sbb tak siap keje... ni sebab siap keje pown kene gak?
ini mmg sesuatu yang tak leh dilupakan!huhu

Mak Su said...

kalau tak leh forget, telan dan digest sajork

Ann Hani said...

kesiannye.. tak sangke ader gak cikgu camtu erk

CikguZue said...

cikgu saya dulu2 pun garang2. esp English. biasa la berbirat tangan walau satu kesalahan. tapi diala cikgu yg paling meninggalkan memori pada saya.

Kak Elle said...

cikgu W was doing whats best for the student afterall...nanti kakelle ke perth lagi will leave msg to you.

Abang Long said...

Bagaimana hendak menjadi pelajar pintar, kalau begini keadaannya ?

Ops, apakhabar wahai saudaraku ?

kuncop said...

hmmm...
pelik jugak ya arsaili naper cikgu W buat camtu~??

NuRuL said...

erk..biar betul cikgu tuh buat camtuh..mesti azab kan tiap kali masuk kelas dia.

hafiz238 said...

pengalaman macam ni memang sukar nak dilupakan. It must be a terrible experience for you

Fauziah said...

Salam.
Akak pn penah kena camni gak. masa tu Ting 5...nk SPM. Guru BM tu semua x kena..diam salah, bising salah, duduk depan salah, dok belakang pun salah. Tahun paling azab dpt guru camtu. Mungkin cikgu akak tu ada mental problem kot. Walaupn menyampah dgn sikap dia yg keterlaluan, akak tanam azam utk score dlm SPM. Alhamdulillah dpt markah baik. Yg pelik masa result kuar dia terhegeh2 jumpa akak utk ucap tahniah. Apa kes? Agak perasan la sb akak leh skor dlm BM mcm dia yg ajar. Nak maafkan ke? Rasa mcm nk maafkn tp tetap ingat penderaan yg dilakukan sepjg tahun tu. Menci!!!!!!

perantau.timur.tengah said...

assalamualaikum.. hi there? ahlan.. saja singgah2 jenguk2 perantau2 lain.. hehe

nice blog..

mOEha Aziz said...

salam...

human is so complcated.. ask that cikgu w,y? he or she might surprise u...

jgn biarkan hidup anda diselubungi misteri... hehehe

rizal said...

Ohhh cikgu W,

pernah dapat jugak macam ni. Sbelum nii cikgu tu okay..masuk tingkatan 5, sekali berubah menjadi singa..

i think kadang2 peribadi terbawa-bawa..

tapi tak simpan la dalam hati.. cuma ada terjumpa lately..

hehehe..tapi, masa kena tu, memang tuu merupakan satu time yang agak menyakitkan hati.

cendawanintim said...

uihhh, garangnyer cikgu w tuh...

cikgu panji said...

Tak faham kenapa ada jugak cikgu macam tu.Dia ada mental problem kot?? Maaf...mengata sikit

waliz said...

as a student and a teacher myself i think i know wht hell u've been through...but pls dont ask why to yrself unless u ask her why she did that to u if u got chance to do so one day...

to forgive is the best and very honourable think humans can do...but to forget is difficult..but anyway u have to go on and this story has reminded me not to do that to my student...because he will forgive but he will not forget...thanks arsaili.

Rynn Cowbra said...

waaa!~

pelik gila cikgu tuh.

motif balem2 buku keje lak neh?
adess!

tp kan,some teachers akan terasa ala2 pengajarannya tidak berkesan kalau ade student yg pergi tuition luar.

they feel that they are not capable to teach.

maybe,sbb tuh kot die buat gitu.
terasa hati.

memanglumayan said...

cikgi W itu emo banget.. ehehe

btw bro, me moved my blog already.. pls update your link.. thank u bro

Noushy Syah said...

True indeed..to forgive yes, but to forget absolutely difficult, although possible....it's something that we will carry for the rest of our lives especially when we see or encountered to that person..the memories just keep coming back.

Someone of what so called 'a friend' betrayed me many years ago, I've already forgiven her but only by seeing her, all the words been said,keep popping out!

azie said...

haish, teruklah that teacher. psycho giler. btw, ur story hopefully will help me not to turn into cikgu W later.

if i were her, mesti i dah puji2 my student buat kerja beforehand.

and that mental war, memang torturing. but i'm sure it is something that will always make u a strong person.

pengkau said...

forgive your enemy, but never forget their names -JFK-

is it W for Wan something?

pandagumuk said...

trauma siot.da la x buat salah.kalau wat salah x pe la kan.

KZue said...

salamm arsaili. Isk iskkk ketakutan yg menghantui mmg takkan mudah dilupakan...ahaks kalau kak long mmg payah nak maafkan!!

Jie said...

dia PMS kot time tu, lepas tu ego untuk mengakui keterlanjuran .

NBK466 said...

Uuuummmaaannngggaaiii...brapa tahun lampau punyer cite nie ek? he..he.he...

zura lias said...

maybe cikgu tu terase tercabar..easy to forgive..hard to forget..:D

muadzlife said...

cikg w musti tgh frust ngan bf dia yg ala2 muka cam u kut..harharhar..

probably she felt 'useless' / stupid as her student needs to find other tutor...hmm...

my bio teacher cukup anti with my fren and me..ada sajer yg x kene..but not by throwing the books....

after our SPM result..she hug & congrats me! tapi i bukan dpt A1 pun for her subject!

MZ said...

wat she did was wrong. ehh .. silaps, terribly wrong! but i pity her tho.
she act like a monster and the sorry part is she cud have create a lots of monsters. thanks god u r turned out fine. :D
it is ok to forgive but we shudn't forget ... it serve as a lesson for who want to learn.

izman said...

yeah... sometime its will takes our whole life to understand someone.

But, Praise to Allah, you're better than her for what have u done. Just forgive! For sure we never forget situation like that. Just keep as bad memory during schooldays.

Masy said...

sy pon penah kene bende yg hampir sama jugak, out of nowhere pangai cekgu tu mcm meroyan.

benci smpi skrang. klu kawen sok takmo jemput dia. huh!~

faisal said...

sesetengah cikgu jeles ngan budak2 pandai kot,hehehe..:) takpe, kenangan yg boleh diceritakan sampai bila2 tu bro..:)

meen said...

hmmm..memang takde sebab cikgu W tu baling2 buku tu..apa motif? walau apapun saja alasannya, for me, buku itu adalah ilmu, wajarkah ilmu dibaling2 macam tu? geram pulak rasanya kat cikgu w tu..

Sharifah Hassan said...

Salam,

:D

Hahahhahah....dia nak test power la tu...

KAMATO said...

pelik2 kadang perangai manusia ni, kalau menag niat dia nak marah, buat etul pun kena marah

© OD said...

Arsaili... dia jeles kot coz you're smarter than her... he he he... sabar je aku. Anyway, you've got ur revenge, right? Go get ur PhD and it will be sweeter... jahatnya aku!!!

wan said...

tak paham.. tak paham..

supposedly dia lagi bangga ada anak murid yang rajin dan cerdik (jgn senyum ok) macam awak nih..

ada gak terkena dgn cikgu gini.. tapi cerita lama.. sesekali terkenang best juga

cikgu jawe said...

moga2 aku tak jadi mcm cikgu nih. huhu

---> kelat said...

sgt2 sweet memori la... x sumer alami cemtu... kan...

Intan & Eddie said...

salam arsaili..kesian arsaili pernah alami peristiwapahit mcm tu..

anak intan yg pra sekolah baru2 ni pun pernah kena rotan sbb buat keje sampai habis..intan yg suruh habiskan sbb cikgu tak tanda sampai mane perlu disiapkan.jadi intan suruh anak intan buat kerja kat buku tulis tu sampai habis ikut cikgu buat.rupa2 kena buat separuh aje..jadi, anak intan dgn bbrp org kwnnya kena rotan..geram juga intan masa tu..

Jentayutiara said...

kasihan..........

opppsss memang tak leh lupa, azab sengsara tu & tekanan jiwa.

13may said...

very nice story... :)

and so mysterious...apehal cikgu tu cam anti sgt kat ko..

pelik pelik...

akirasuri said...

Erk! Sungguh kerek itu cikgu..

Mungkin ego beliau tercabar kot..

Huhuk!

Rush Murad said...

it's not easy to understand people.... even to the one that really close to us physically and emotionally.... got it?

Cikgu W must be envy at you... or she must have thought that she is not good enough for you that you seek a tutor...

simah said...

obviously u didnt forget :0)

but i always believe to throw a book in a dustbin is not right... berdosa sebab buku tu kan contains pieces of knowledge..something to be held sacred...akak kalau lepas baca buku dah automatik mesti cium buku mcm kita cium quran lepas baca ..tendang... bling buku..lagi la... never!

MsyaAllah..u turned out great...
:0)..sampikan at this point dlm blog ni pun ada sampi 43 comments!! people must love u! :0)

MULAN said...

awat la lagu tu cikgu w... ada hikmah tu di sebalik semua kejadian..

zino said...

dulu zino ada sorang cikgu tu yg paling tak suka.. sampai sekarang hehe

PuteriSatu said...

la hai..cam tu plak...tak siap salah..dah siap pun kena..aduhai..

Pak Ngah: said...

:: salam...

:: cikgu tu pun manusia jugak... macam kita niii... dan mungkin kes terpencil kot...

:: pensyarah di IPT/IPTS pun lebih kurang sama jugak rasanya... punya jawatan yg sama tapi prestasi mereka berbeza... dan pastinya sikap dan sifat juga berbeza di kalangan mereka... tak gitu?

Noushy Syah said...

Greetings and salamz Arsaili,

TGIF.Have a gr8 weekend.

BTW,I respect pak ngah's comment so well...

afandi said...

Salam Kenal
Assalamualaikum

Ya, sama kita ada di sini heheheh

Kasawari said...

cikgu w mesti bangga sebab punyai bekas pelajar seperti bro.. cayalah...

lama takdgr khabar bro. tahap gaban lagi ker?

Abah Mui'zz said...

Baca cerita ni, teringat pada cikgu Add Math abah waktu form 4 and 5 dulu. Setiap kali masuk kelas, mesti dia akan kata, "Add Math ni susah, awak semua mesti tak boleh buat punya!". Tapi sebab waktu tu kami sekolah kampung, dan memang tak pandai sangat, dan cikgu itu cikgu yg dtg dari sekolah berasrama penuh - maka kami terima itu sebagai satu kenyataan.

Abah dah lupa nama cikgu tu, tapi abah tetap tak boleh lupa ayat2 dia, yg sedikit sebanyak beri kesan besar pada abah, apatah lagi pada rakan2 lain.

Sigh. Harap Arsaili sihat selalu insyaAllah.

hUmmY said...

euw..

cikgu W is so rude la!

bencinye~

patotnye bagozla student rajen wat xtra work!

tp ni nak mrh plak!

mebi dia rase tcabar kot!

kofkofkof~

Siti Sophia said...

Cikgu melayu ramai macam tu tak suka guna psychology..sedangkan waktu di maktab perguruan psychology kanak2 ada diterapkan. Mulut cikgu melayu jahat especially yg perempuan (dah lama nak cakap mcm ni).

I tgk masih tak berubah sampai sekarang, anak sedara I melalui perkara yg sama dgn cikgu melayu, yg bangsa lain okay pulak, sabar dan dedikasi.Bukan semua lah cikgu melayu mcm tu tapi majoriti mcm tu.Mereka seolah2 tak suka pd karier sbg guru dan buat spt terpaksa. Saya sendiri melalui impak psychology yg mendalam akibat perbuatan guru spt menyindir, menjatuhkan air muka.Kita jadi hilang yakin diri, low self esteem dan takut utk bertanya. It took years for me to heal. saya sgt bimbang anak2 saya akan melaui perkara yg sama namum alhamdullilah waktu anak2 masih kecil suami saya mendpt tawaran bekerja di luar negeri dan anak2 dpt bersekolah disini sehingga sekarang (sudah 1o tahun). Cikgu berbangsa eropah sgt sabar, peramah dan dedikasi. Anak2 saya bercakap dgn guru spt kawan, bergurau dan bertanya. Mereka sgt tinggi yakin diri dan ramai bangsa melayu yg sama merantau memberi komen yg sama tentang perkembangan keperibadian anak2 mereka berbanding sewaktu di malaysia terutama dari segi keyakinan bercakap.

Cikgu2 bangsa melayu kita harus berubah, jangan sombong utk mengaku kelemahan dah harus menitik berat kan psychology kerana impak nya mendalam pd jiwa dan perkembangan diri terutama utk kanak2 di sekolah rendah.

nadia yuna said...

i love da word - to forgive but not forget!

& respon to siti sophia
insyaallah.. akan diguna psychology bila saya posting nanti! =)